Ang Mo Kio without the Kio

“Ang moh”, you frantically begin. “I keep returning to your blog every single day and alas, I am not subjected to your intricate wit and general awesomeness”. For that, I apologise. I know that from my first few posts a legion of die-hard followers have developed (thanks mum for following my blog!) but I have been too busy to blog.

I lie. Anyone who uses the “oh, I’m too busy to do X” excuse is lying. They are merely lazy or wishing to use their free time for other activities. If we add up the amount of free time we have in a week, we will surprise ourselves. Perception doesn’t equal reality. “Ang moh! I work three jobs, support a family, have seventeen kids and have nightly pole dancing classes”, you argue. Well, let me ask you this (particularly applies to men): have you ever been too busy to masturbate?

I didn’t think so. I win. You lose. BRB, masturbating.

Which leads me to my next point…GINGIVITIS. That is all.

I’m looking forward to writing a cliched end of year post explicating how awesome the year was, revealing the number of new STDs named after me and generally revelling in my own beauty. A lot has indeed happened recently, and the past 8 or so months in Singapore have been amazing. You know that a lot has happened if despite being here so little, it feels like I’ve been here for years. I’ve crammed more into this year than a fat person crams into their mouth during a 5-minute free cake giveaway.

I shall leave you with something that will make yo uas smart as I am: http://www.learnsomethingeveryday.co.uk/

Did you know a peanut is not a nut? Well, now you do and can piss people off with random, useless trivia.

Wishing you all lots of Boomz,

Ang Mo Kio Without the Kio.